We are about to embark on a long days journey to visit family under sunnier skies. This trip will be out of the ordinary for our family who for the past eight months, have been very careful to keep most activities low key. We have not been overly social or scheduled and have successfully created a nice 'cocoon' as a new household of four. I like this term (common in adoption literature) because its description illustrates how I see the progression of our family. A cocoon is in fact the antithesis of rest. This is where the body of the caterpillar is transforming into a mature moth (I wish I could say butterfly (that would be a chrysalis), but the inner biologist is telling me to be accurate). It is a stage where the antennae, amazingly complicated mouth parts, and wings will be fully formed. After it emerges, the moth cannot fly and will wait until its wings are fully dry to take to the air.
I imagine that most folks on the outside see us a bit crazed, our children are rarely out of sight and I have seen several raised eyebrows and comments all politely suggesting: overprotective. What may seem to others as a somewhat isolating time has been everything to the contrary. Our cocooning has been absolutely vital in transitioning and adjusting to one another. We needed to get to know each other and find our new normal without the blur of outside distractions. That brings me to this-I think we are almost ready. December has been telling. While deliberately keeping the holidays calm and simple we have done some branching out. A few restaurants here and there, a very long day trip, a close friend's wedding... And each time, we departed from normal bedtime and schedules, and things have been good. We even survived the week of sleepless nights when Baby O was getting his molars in. I can almost feel the wings forming and hope we can begin the new year by branching out more and more.
My husband often laments that running long distances is all about recovery. When the subject comes up, he'll go on to say that anyone can run a marathon [but without proper preparation/training] you might have a tough time getting back on your feet for a few weeks (or longer). I view the last overprotective months as training if you will for the the tougher times ahead. With this strong family bond and understanding, we can hopefully overcome the hardships that come our way.
It's time. We are ready. Family, here we come!
So exciting! Sometimes I wish we had (could've) done that as well...but with both sides of the family within 3 miles of us...it just didn't work.
ReplyDeleteThe "inner biologist"... Girl, aren't you an "outer biologist," too? Or am I making that up? Either way, your analogy to a moth emerging from a cocoon was PERFECT. Gotta get that printed and added to my "file" of adoption literature!!!!! Love your posts. Frequent, heartfelt, humorous and full of love. Can't wait to hear about where you choose to fly once your wings are dry....
ReplyDeleteThat is for sure why you are one of my most favorite families. We had enough time to talk about this in ET because I feel over protective just like you and protected my little ones just the same. Kevin wanted to take 2 of them with him to Pittsburgh in the Summer and guess what I said "Heck No, and Heck No". BTW, doesn't Erin write nice articles. She is amazing. She has been my coordinator for all my 4 kids and I LOVED working with her. Although super young but she has the knowledge about adoption like and old wise woman. Thought out her advice many times even after the kids arrived home.
ReplyDeleteI think because we live so far away from immediate family, it was much easier to create a cocoon. On the flip side, we don't feel comfortable leaving the kids with someone and it has been very hard to get any sort of time together. If we had family that was closer, it would be easier in many ways. So there are positives and negatives to each scenario.
ReplyDeleteWhat's great is that the kids had a wonderful time meeting aunts, uncles, cousins and seeing their grandparents again. I wished we could see them everyday!